


Hold My Breath

by Anonymous



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Insomnia, Loneliness, M/M, Multi, Night Terrors, Other, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:55:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29467599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Thomas knows they couldn't love him, it's been years of knowing each other and it's only been a while of them knowing him. So instead of telling them, holding his breath is his best bet.
Relationships: Aris Jones & Thomas (Maze Runner), Harriet/Sonya | Elizabeth "Lizzy" (Maze Runner), Minho/Newt (Maze Runner), Minho/Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner), Minho/Thomas (Maze Runner), Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner)
Kudos: 26
Collections: The Maze Runner





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This story involves  
> •Anxiety + Panic attacks  
> •Night Terrors  
> •Depressive thoughts  
> •Dead spirits  
> •Loneliness  
> •Angst  
> if you do not like any of these said topics please click away from this story or take a second and read another! Thank you for deciding to check out my story! :D  
> Keep in mind this was written on my phone :p  
> Chapter 1: Observe & Note

Taking a deep breath, as he walked around the camp.  
His eyes filled with tears, going to hide, he didn't know where but, somewhere.

He asked them about how they felt about poly relationships and how they would share love with three people.  
The answer he got made him put layers around his heart.

"We don't really want a third person in our relationship, well not "don't want" , I'd think it'd be bloody difficult especially sharing" 

Never expected the pale blonde to say something like that.

"I'm greedy and to handsome for more than one person . Besides, I can't give myself to everyone!"  
Okay he definitely expected "Mr.Perfect-hair-and-thick-thighs" to say that. 

The blond was right about the sharing..

How did sharing love work and what about jealousy?  
He doesn't press on about their answers and simply moves on.

\\\𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐬//

I'm laying in my bed, eyes closed and facing the ceiling.  
Trying to stop crying after trying to keep quiet and having a meltdown isn't as easy as I thought.

It's been years since I've had a breakdown or even cried. Okay, okay now that's a lie, Chuck's death had me feeling all sorts of things.

I finally hop off my bed and head to the bathroom.  
I wash my face and stare in the mirror, what would've happened if I wasn't at wicked? 

What if I just listened and didn't get close to anyone?

I snap out of it as someone waves their hand in front of my face. I look to see my best-friend Aris. 

Aris usually helped me with breakdowns and if Aris couldn't be there,  
Aris would give me a list of things to do to calm myself down.

Such as laying in bed with my eyes closed, counting to a random number, focusing on my hands, and a really weird one. 

Which is thinking of puppets, like, why are their arms so wiggly or why are their heads so big?

Besides the point.

Moving on.

"Hey, heard a few whimpers and sniffles. Are you stable enough to sleep alone tonight?" Aris was too kind.  
Especially after the trauma wicked put us through.

I slowly nod, "I think I'll be fine for tonight, my breathing went back to normal quicker than usual" 

Aris wraps his arms around my waist, he squeezes tight and lets go. Aris gives me a soft smile as he makes his way out the bathroom.

I stand in the bathroom, left alone again.

I chew my food quietly, listening to Chuck's spirit talk about what it's like to be a guider.  
Alby's spirit levitated in the air above me, notebook in hand occasionally looking down.

The others that survived sat next in and cross from me. I usually sat alone but it depends on how I feel.

The blonde and Mr. Perfect sat next together across from me.  
Alby would alert me that one of the two we're looking at me. 

I never look back up when they do but, I see them.  
They must be pondering what I meant when I asked that question. 

I shrugged it off as usual, we wrapped up dinner and headed back to our rooms. 

I laid down in my bed and readied myself for the nightmares that were waiting for me...


	2. A small door, a movie night $ a fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shooting awake, he suddenly felt a jolt of warmth. Looking around in slight panic nothing appears to be out of the blue. A softer blanket laid upon his figure.
> 
> Sitting up, back pressed against the wall he took a few deep breaths. It was time for school. Ocean View high-school seemed to be a good fresh start if you don't consider being known as, ' The Missing Children ' .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I go by Soy_Soy idk why this is anonymous but I’m sorry about that. You can find me by the story ‘A Rich Little Babooshka’.  
>  But if it shows me as Soy_Soy on this story please tell me!  
>  Enjoy reading!

Shooting awake, he suddenly felt a jolt of warmth. Looking around in slight panic nothing appears to be out of the blue. A softer blanket laid upon his figure.

Sitting up, back pressed against the wall he took a few deep breaths. It was time for school. Ocean View high-school seemed to be a good fresh start if you don't consider being known as, ' The Missing Children ' .

Let's just hope this starts off how they got here.

I'll make this quick and short!

After a while of the Safe Haven, the group finally made a decision to let the young teens return to normal civilization.  
Obviously they needed to get back into the learning course so they talked with the government and had allowed them back like they had never left but they were to never bring up WICKED unless they were amongst one another.

Let me tell you who does what:

• Thomas = Observatory

• Newt = Leadership

• Minho = Track Co Captain

• Brenda = Driving Basics/ Ela help

• Sonya = Self Defense/ Fashion

• Gally = Theater/ Wrestling

• Ben = Building/ Ela help

• Aris = Weapons work

• Frypan/Fred = Cooking

Thomas was assigned observatory due to him picking up in certain things quickly, unfortunately he was the only one did this. He was alone again, alone with ghostly friends of course.   
When he did this subject the teacher never kept him in class, he just walked all throughout the school and other people's classes. It was boring at first but he had gotten the hang of it.

Brenda snapped the boy out of his trance though.

"Hey Thomas, you holding up in here" It was like she knew I wasn't paying attention.

A head nod seem to be enough for an answer. She pulled him along to the math classroom.   
The teachers name was Clementine Hope Weaver, a beautiful girl in her youth and a sweet lady still.

Mrs. Weaver was one of the kindest yet slightly strictest teachers you could learn from.  
She never taught in a boring way unless the principal was there to check in. It was always a game or a lesson with prizes.

"Thomas?" Attendance must've started, "Present!"   
She smiled and moved on.

After Mrs. Weaver checked most off in the students in attendance she moved on into the warm - up.  
It was one simple math problem, Brenda and I finished it with only 30 seconds to spare.

We played rock , paper , scissors. Brenda winning with cheats, knowing I can't complain due to the class being silent.

"Ok class let's start today's lesson!", that's my cue to zone out anything that wasn't Weaver.  
'Lesson 17, just another review..'

Why do I even bother listening? It's not like I can just not participate.   
I mean I can but at least I have something to do.

Whatever, math is too easy.

I walk to the cafè, my ears were filled with the chattering and laughs of innocent and devilish teenagers.  
Some were normal yet some of them had an alternative style.

Some had multi - colored hair, some wore large boots or crop top hoodies with a odd design. The make up they wore was extreme but pretty damn cool. You can't change my mind.  
I even made somewhat of a friendship with one!

I don't think I'd wear it but if I had the chance maybe.   
I don't even look normal, I wear hoodies with weird text and ripped blue jeans with my over worn shoes that have been sunk in dirt and sand.

"Thomas! Get over here already shank" Gally never seems to care if he was loud unless he was with Ben if you know what I mean.

I walk over to the table filled with people I feel who are family & friends.  
Only two of them I felt as if they were more than that.

"Anything new happen?" Newt asks without giving anyone a chance to stop him, most shake their head no, most except Aris and Fry.  
Both boys had amazing talents.

Cooking for a partner and playing with flour while baking cookies & lemon bites. Maybe opening up a bakery with a silly name & savory foods.

Training with your partner in the basement or on the back patio, after a while of only land a few solid hits your partner wins by pinning you down, blade to your neck & a peck on the cheek.

"Hey shank, you gonna eat or daydream about getting rail-" I slap Gally over the head, shooting him a playful glare..  
Always the dirtiest thoughts come out of that shanks mouth, if you weren't Ben or Brenda you'd be flustered or grossed out no in between.

The lunch ladies were so nice and funny, I was one of the eleven students who came to lunch a bit late.   
So I usually got some of the next group of teenagers lunch.

I had a soup, vegetables, fruits, a croissant, a water bottle and a ice tea. It was easier for my stomach.

I always end up messing with Aris by slurping or smacking so the soup came in handy. I stared him dead in the eyes.

Soup filled spoon, locking eyes, and a large smirk.   
Aris had begun making an unsettled face as slurped loudly, not even a few seconds later the playful yet so, so, so, so irritated boy tried to swat the spoon from my hand.

I chuckle and falsely promised, again, to cut it out.   
I finished up my meal and threw out the leftovers and handed the bowl & tray back.

Just as the bell rings, signaling our lunch period has passed. Giving permission for the last grade to come into the cafè.  
This means I only have one "class" left, Observatory.

Meaning my friends were stuck outside, in the second kitchen, or in class. Meaning I was stuck roaming the empty building we have yet to give purpose.

I got used to having free space. I wasn't truly alone. Alby, Chuck, Teresa, Winston, and many others joined my roaming.  
Giving me a whole group to talk to or over hear other's chatter.

This was just a daily thing I liked, seeing what the extra rooms could be used for and how they should look. What would a group of students like the room wall color to be.

After a while of walking and looking at the small rooms and extra bathrooms I spot a small door, no keyhole, no door knob, just a small door with a handle.

I pull the door open but just as I was about to take a look inside, my phone rings. 

'Newt calls at the literal WORST times' I sigh to myself.

Guess I'll just come back tomorrow, I really wish they would hurry up with that key.  
I wanted my own key so I could come in here an observe more.

I close they door and start walking back to the exit, I give the door a final look and leave. Who knows what's in that small door.

I lay in my bed, thought after thought rushing through my head. Why the hell was behind that door? What was it's purpose?   
Did it have something in it? Why would a building even have that? 

Better yet who put it there, why did they need it?  
I was so caught up I didn't hear nor see Sonya.

"TOM!!!" I immediately focus my vision her, seeing if anything is wrong. Nothing seems out of the blue except for her change of clothes.

"Is something wrong Sonya?" Questioning her presents in my room, she smiles at me like I had forgotten about prom.

"Seriously?, it's time for movie night!" The girl tells me.  
I groan at this, I sorta developed a hate for movie night.

I didn't like watching new things. This is how our movie nights work.

• Every other two weeks we watch the same movie.  
• After watching that movie we watch something new.  
• Such as horror, comedy, action so and so.

But we never watch animated films. I had over heard a group talking about a movie titled Coraline.

A film about a girl and her parents who had moved into old pink apartments, finding a small door that lead her to her dream life. 

Yet dreams always have hidden messages, buttons is something I overheard so it must've been one of the important messages.

I hope up and grab my pajamas, a T-shirt & some long pants. I knew my cue to leave was when I heard four snores.  
That meant most were asleep or deep into the movie.

I hopped on the couch and leaned back, this was about to suck.

"Tommy? You zoned out, we had to pause the movie. Are you okay?" Newt had shaken me out of head.  
It was dim in the room.

The light in the corner was giving off the slight tan light. I heard a three snores. 

"I'm fine, I just was thinking about something, it's nothing" That didn't seem to convince him much.

Minho was also looking at me, I faked a yawn & stretched. This was my only chance to separate from them.

Alby was standing my the stairwell. Chuck was signaling for me to hurry.  
"I'm just gonna go to bed, I'll be alright sorry messing up movie night..." The two shook their head's.

They reassured me that I didn't mess it up, I must've just been tired.  
The two are basically snuggling.

I wanted to cry right fucking there.

Make them feel guilty.

Hurt them just like they did to me.

But I wouldn't dare fuck that realationship up, they've known each other since forever.

They even have special nicknames for one another.

I take a small yet deep breath. 

I smiled at them, nodding and walking to the stairwell. I give them one last glance & grin and I'm making my way to my room.

The second I laid my foot into my bedroom, hot tears flooded my eyes and spilled like an over flooded tub.

Quiet, choked sobs barely filled my room as the movie continued downstairs.  
They were perfect together.

I would be a fault in that, destroying a perfect relationship...

But than the tears stop, the urge to smile replaced sadness. I didn't want to destroy their relationship it was something else.

I want to be a fault.

Someone who doesn't fit in a certain place.  
That was me.

I wiped the leftover tears away, Teresa's smiling at me for a moment and then she disappears.

A soft yawn erupts from me, ghostly hands lift me to my bed, must be Winston or Alby.  
I stare at the pair of clothes another boy had gave me, it was kinda like the style I had taken notice in. 

Alt.

The boy had given it to me after hearing me say I looked so bland and boring.

I won't try it just yet, not until I get more clothes that look like them anyways.

Imagine wearing something totally new then going right back to normal the next day. The way I will become an "attention seeker" so fast.

'Try something new' is the last voice I heard before simply passing out...


End file.
